hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
