What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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