What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
