We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
