Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
