i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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