Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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