great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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