What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
