I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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