I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
