Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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