your parents love me but you hate me
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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