I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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