when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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