i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize