Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Randomize
