you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
