I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
