yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
