i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Sorry my hands just texted you
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
