Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
what is it with giant penises always finding me
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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