remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
