i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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