is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
