I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
