McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
