The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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