is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
