I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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