You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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