I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
