it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
