You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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