wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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