apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
