We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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