They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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