standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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