covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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