Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Where is the hickey?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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