Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
