my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
