Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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