my vag is so smooth its legendary
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize