If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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