made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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