i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
