I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
