I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize