Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
