just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
