So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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