at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Please don't give away my fajitas
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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