I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
