i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We just shotgunned beers for America
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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