Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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