I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
