Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
what day is it and did you see me today?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
