plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
